


Burning hurts less

by bevin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecurity, Kakashi Hatake - Freeform, Mental Breakdown, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Sakura - Freeform, Sasuke - Freeform, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, insecure, naruto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:51:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bevin/pseuds/bevin





	1. Broken and barely breathing

Naruto had found burning hurt less than being rejected and shunned by his village . Glass , food, and many other objects would be thrown at him , he would come home to find his apartment vandalized . Words were spray painted on his wall such as 

monster ,  
demon ,  
do us a favor and die ,  
Worthless ,  
and lastly end it you, vile creature .

With each word or insult thrown at him, he believed them to be true because he had nobody to tell him different . He had been beaten , starved , insulted , betrayed and so much more . Broken and barely breathing is how he would describe himself . So many glares sent his way ... he just couldn't be left in peace he was like a broken mirror irreparable . Every time he went somewhere he would hear frightened mothers warning their kids to stay away and he was hurt all he ever wanted was to protect the village . Sakura and Sasuke betray him they had tried sacrificing him so they could escape on their latest mission . 

No one cares about me I'm just an unwanted piece of trash .

My parents left me all alone in this world they didn't even give me a chance . Iruka acts like he cares but he doesn't he buys me ramen and acts as if he cares but it's out of pity . He doesn't want anyone to know he's not as perfect as everyone thinks he doesn't want anyone to know he has flaws .So what better way then interacting with me the Kyuubi brat ? Lastly, there's Kakashi whom I saw as something more than a sensei but then he showed his true colors he doesn't care about me only Sasuke. Kakashi had started neglecting me Sasuke I hate to admit it but I'm envious of Sasuke he gets all Kakashi's attention when Kakashi could care less if I died . I had asked over and over again for Kakashi to train me and every time he said no . Did Kakashi know how much he was hurting me ? Every time Kakashi neglected me I lit a spoon on fire waited till the fire turned a little blue that means the fires at it's hottest and branded my tan arms .It became a secret addiction no one else knew about but me . Over time I got used to the burning sensation and had filled up my arms with burns . I had given up and stopped asking Kakashi to train me it was clear Kakashi never has and never will care . But I never stopped the habit of burning myself because I deserved this .

5 weeks later 

No one's noticed my burns then again everyone hates me so it's not like I expected them too. I solemnly walked to training meeting Sasuke -teme ,and Sakura . I unconsciously pulled down my sleeve of my orange and black jumpsuit not that anyone noticed .

'' Naruto you're one minute late '' Sakura screamed before hitting me on the head . 

'' Oi dobe'' Sasuke taunted .

I was used to it nothing they did hurt anymore I was too numb to care . Kakashi-sensei arrived two hours late great I thought bitterly another day of being neglected .

'' you're late !! '' me and Sakura screamed .

''Sorry I got lost on the path of life '' Kakashi said already buried in his book.

Taking my chances I nervously asked Kakashi if he would train me .

'' k-Kakashi will you train me today ?'' I stuttered I already knew what his answer would be . He glared at me with the most angry eyes I had ever seen. He slowly approached me and I couldn't help but to be scared .

He slapped me so hard my cheek was blazing red and I was left in shock.

'' Naruto how many times do I have to tell you Sasuke's way more important ?!!! I don't want to train you your not worth it nor will you ever be!!! Your a waste of my time a nuisance to me it's no wonder your parents left you !!! '' he yelled tears were now streaming down my tan whiskered cheeks . It looked as if Kakashi had just realized what he did because he looked as if he had been struck with guilt . 

'' N - naru ..... Naruto ...I-I ''  
I didn't let him finish because I ran all the way to my apartment pushing past Sasuke and Sakura . 

When I finally got home I was sobbing my happy exterior fell I had an idea a way to relieve the pain I lit a spoon on fire and ran it across my arms about ten times satisfied to get rid of the pain Kakashi's words had caused .

I ended up crying myself to sleep that night but I had learned burning hurts less


	2. bring me back to life

Kakashi's pov

 

  I .... I can't believe I just did that I hurt Naruto . Hurting him had been my last intention NEVER and I mean never had I wanted to hurt him ! That had been what I had been avoiding everyone that has gotten close to me has been hurt whether it be physically or emotionally . And that's just it I absolutely could not harm Naruto he's too precious to me and I can't afford to loose my blond angel . By trying to protect Naruto I forced myself to train Sasuke I'd be lying if I said Naruto's heartbroken glance he sent my way every time I trained Sasuke didn't hurt because they did . Gosh, they were the most painful thing I have and ever will endure . The way his once lively blue eyes shadowed over giving off a haunted and broken look while his iris reflected

Gosh, they were the most painful thing I have and ever will endure . The way his once lively blue eyes shadowed over giving off a haunted and broken look while his iris reflected pain and hurt it quite honestly scared me to death . He looked so hollow so .... broken and each and every time my heart shattered more and more knowing that I had been the one to cause Naruto pain .The most unbearable thing wasn't the hurt , pain , brokenness , or hollowness in his eyes it was the look of understanding god damn he wasn't supposed to understand ! He isn't supposed to forgive me each and every time I hurt him nor was he supposed to carry that rejected look only I seemed to notice. He was way too young to be falling apart , way too young to be playing these games but most of all he was way too young to be broken .

He was a ticking time bomb with seconds till it broke destructing each and everything in its path . And the cause you may ask well the cause is myself and I only have myself to blame . This wasn't like all the other times though it wasn't live , forget , and repeat this wretched cycle all over again no this time I had severely hurt the only one who has ever cared for me . And the truth about the terrible statement you may ask wasn't true at all it was just lies and propaganda I had planted in my mind to ignore my rapidly growing feelings towards Naruto . So I had taken out all my frustration on Naruto because it was easier to blame him than to blame myself for having these feelings . My love for him was like a vine curling its way tightly around me it was unstoppable inevitable . And now that vine had finally snapped causing unstoppable havoc and mayhem and Naruto just so happened to be the victim . My heart clutched painfully Naruto isn't going to forgive me not that I blame him I thought sadly .

Suddenly the thoughts of Naruto's smiling face , his catchphrase believe it , his determination , selflessness , or his content face eating ramen ran through my mind .And I knew that I couldn't live without him . Without an ounce of thought, I took off running towards Naruto's house determined to apologize .

 

 


End file.
